The $40 billion Michael Jackson wrongful death suit finds the pop star’s family asserting that sports & entertainment conglomerate AEG wantonly pumped the singer full of Propofol, though the incentive to empoison a performer to whom tens of … [Continue reading]
Man’s Best Friend
Though Tariq Aziz claims Saddam is still alive, the CIA is dubious, noting the former deputy prime minister is miffed at his placement in the infamous deck of cards. Aziz merely represents the lowly eight of spades, number 43 out of 52 bad guys. As … [Continue reading]
Axis of Idiocy
Devoid of any coherent strategy from the White House, the situation in North Korea is rapidly escalating out of control. When Pyongyang removed cameras and sensors from a dormant nuke plant, we sent up spy planes to confirm resumption of their … [Continue reading]
Scot-Free
Because many of Super Bowl XLVII’s television commercials are already viewable online, much of the anticipatory luster of the big game has dulled. The glitter has gone to patina faster than, say, Ray Lewis recovered from a torn triceps muscle. Ray, … [Continue reading]
Abba Zabba, Mothafucker
Rumors that Honey Boo Boo was competing in a nearby pageant coaxed me out of a Kentucky bomb shelter (read: abandoned coal mine) that I cleverly located by cross-referencing an episode of Doomsday Preppers with Google Earth. Sadly, such reports … [Continue reading]
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