In my last Skewer, I Like Rape, I expressed dismay that some redneck preacher hadn’t yet blamed Superstorm Sandy on gays and liberals.  Well, but a scant few hours later, Internet pastor John P. McTernan averred that Sandy is God’s retribution against sodomites and their left-wing brethren who have abandoned Israel.  Citing Obama’s support of marriage equality, McTernan railed, “God is systematically destroying America [because] Obama is 100 percent behind the Muslim Brotherhood which has vowed to destroy Israel and take Jerusalem. Both candidates are pro-homosexual and are behind the homosexual agenda.” As for Romney, McTernan expounded, “Yes, he is a big time pro-homosexual supporter to the point he will keep open homosexuality in the military; he wants homosexuals in the Boy Scouts; and he wants more open homosexuals in the Republican Party.”  Reading between the lines, one can infer that McTernan believes the Catholic Church needs no assistance from the GOP when it comes to filling its cassocks with knob jockeys and poo pushers.

Upstate New York rabbi Noson Leiter chimed in as well, describing the monstrous storm as “divine justice” for lower Manhattan, which he branded “one of the national centers for homosexuality.”  “The Lord will not bring another flood to destroy the entire world,” Leiter explained, “but he can punish particular areas with that flood, and if we look at the same-gender-marriage recognition movement that’s occurring, that’s certainly a message for us to learn.”

As Hamlet’s Player Queen famously allows, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”  Indeed.  What are the odds, then, these two are packing fudge faster than Lucy and Ethel on a conveyor belt?  We can but wait for the hand of God to reveal His truth.

 

In my last skewer, I argued that the growing income disparity in this country is not tenable.  Occupy Wall Street has since been born out of the frustration of average citizens who witness Sallie Krawcheck getting $6 million for getting fired from Bank of America, yet can’t wrangle an interview for a night-shift job at Wendy’s.  And don’t think that any of the 99% crowd will be mollified by the 11-year prison sentence meted out to billionaire hedge fund manager Raj Rajaratnam for fraud and insider trading.  One needs to realize that the only reason Raj was even prosecuted, let alone convicted, is because he, like Bernie Madoff, stole from rich people.  Raj, in the words of Young Jeezy, ain’t no “7-11 nigga.”

True, profits are shiriking for the likes of J.P. Morgan (third-quarter income fell 33% to a paltry $3.1 billion) and share prices have indeed tumbled for most financial instutions (Goldman Sachs common has shed 42% this year), but it’s hard to imagine that Jamie Diamond and Lloyd Blankfein are feeling the totality of our pain as they shuttle betwen the Federal Reserve Discount Window and the Ferrari dealership on Park Avenue.  Meanwhile, finanial services billionaire and New York mayor Michael Bloomberg ordered the protesters gathered in Zuccotti Park to disband, ostensibly to allow sanitation crews to address the “unsanitary conditions and wear and tear” visited upon the downtown plaza over the last 26 days.  As Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly expounded: “After it’s cleaned, they’ll be able to come back. But they won’t be able to bring back the gear. The sleeping bags, that sort of thing, will not be able to be brought back into the park.”  I guess that leaves really big jackets…

While not quite as disdainful as Marie Antoinette’s rejoinder to her starving subjects, the administration’s response reminds us that the pervasive disconnect between the uber-haves and the rest of us is what sparked the French Revolution.  Though not yet to scale, other sit-ins have sprung up in Los Angeles, Chicago, Denver and myriad other locations.  It is my earnest hope that we have finally, finally woken up from the effects of Dick Cheney’s dream dust and begin, in large numbers, to kick some serious ass.

In the Skewer Franc-enstein, I argued that Republicans are enamored with tax cuts not as a means to boost employment, but rather as a measure to further their philosophy of channeling next to 100% of economic rewards to the people who need it the least, namely the rich.  The rest of America should live in gutters and stop complaining about the lack of access to frivolities like food and health care.  That 245 members of Congress are millionairs only serves to underscore Washington’s incentive to mitigate any potential redistribution of wealth.

Only days later, Representative John Fleming (R-LA), went on MSNBC to attack President Obama’s proposed tax increase on individuals earning in excess of $1 million per year.  “This is all about creatng jobs,” contended Fleming, “not about attacking people who make certain incomes.”  Yet when confronted with the fact that his Subway and UPS franchises garnered 2010 gross income of $6.3 million, the Congressman bristled, “By the time I feed my family I have, maybe, $400,000 left over to invest in new locations, upgrade my locations, buy more equipment.”  I don’t know what the Flemings are having for dinner, but with a tab of $5.9 million, they certainly aren’t eating any of that crap at Subway.   More likely, a steady diet of Wagu beef topped with white truffles and Iranian caviar.  But more importantly, and by Fleming’s ownadmission, none of that reinvestment was earmarked for HIRING NEW EMPLOYEES.  Tone deaf to the plight the unemployed and underemployed , Fleming railed, “Class warfare’s never created a job.”  Perhaps not, John, but it has created tens of thousands of erstwhile law-abiding citizens with no compunction for breaking into your house, stealing your 60″ flat-screen TV and raping your daughters on the way out the back door.

Conservatives need to understant that the redistributive effect of progressive taxation is best understood not as a handout, but rather as an insurance premium.  And given Newt Gingrich’s $300,000 tab at Tiffany’s, something to well consider.