Tens of thousand of protesters filled the streets of Kiev protesting the results of a fiercely contested presidential election. Hard line candidate Viktor Yanukovych was handed a razor-thin victory over his more Western challenger despite what poll observers described as multiple voting and inflated turnout figures in Yanukovych’s stronghold districts. Several independent exit polls, moreover, showed the challenger, Viktor Yushchenko, to have clearly won. The European Union called for a recount while the Bush administration asserted its own position: “The United States is deeply concerned by extensive and credible indications of fraud committed in the Ukrainian presidential election.” And they would certainly know.

After Russian President Vladimir Putin swiftly rebuked the United States for our “unprecedented interference,” I was left to wonder how we would fare diplomatically once Condoleezza Rice takes over for Colin Powell. Because she has already made her first mistake – removing the animus for international sympathy over her “bleeding and discomfort.” Not that she deserved any compassion after the tremendous “bleeding and discomfort” unleashed by the attacks of 9/11. Condi, you will recall was privy to a CIA briefing document dated August 6, 2001 where details regarding Bin Laden’s plan were neatly mapped out save only the actual flight numbers and addresses of the hijackers. After brushing off the report as “historical,” she shamefully tried to duck testifying before the National Commission on Terrorist Attacks.

References to Lady Macbeth aside, Rice underwent uterine artery embolization at Georgetown University Hospital to treat multiple fibroids and their attendant symptoms. The procedure involved injecting tiny pellets into proximate uterine arteries to stop blood flow and starve the tumors. Embolization along with a new ultrasound bombardment technique is seen as less radical alternative to a total hysterectomy. Duke University’s Dr. Evan Myers opined, “It is amazing that for a condition as common as fibroids, that has such significant impact on reproductive-age women, there is not a lot of high-quality scientific evidence for many of the things that are done for fibroids.” Well, what can you expect in a country where 10 million women without a cervix still get Pap tests? Dr. Brenda E. Sirovich, who’s paper on the subject has been published by The Journal of the AMA, expressed her dismay: “We were actually quite surprised, these women are being screened for cancer in an organ that they don’t have.” Dr. Kenneth Noller, chairman of obstetrics and gynecology at Tufts-New England Medical Center quipped, “It’s kind of hard to figure out.” Not really. With medical reimbursement rates plummeting and malpractice insurance skyrocketing, charging $40 for a three-minute procedure makes perfect sense.

It didn’t take long. Only months after President Bush put assault weapons back into the hands of the public, five people were killed with a SKS 7.62 mm semiautomatic rifle. This is indeed the same gun that killed eight police officers between 1998 and 2001 and can be admired at http://www.sinodefence.com/army/individual/rifle_79.asp. Although it was deer season, 36-year-old Chai Vang thought it would be easier to bag a handful of rival hunters on a private reserve in Sawyer County, Wisconsin. I’ve heard that Asians will eat just about anything, but this is too grisly to stomach. And before you think I’m exacerbating some baseless stereotype, consider that Beging’s Dong Hua Men Night Market offers baby sparrows, scorpions, crickets, and any manner of animal brains while the nearby Fangshang Restaurant serves up paw of camel and ass of dog. At any rate, when a hunter spotted someone in his tree stand, he and several others approached the suspect and asked him to leave, according to Sawyer County Sheriff James Meier. Mr. Vang climbed down from the stand and was walking away, when “for some apparent reason he turned and opened fire on them,” reported Meier.

More people were shot as they arrived on all-terrain vehicles to rescue the first group, after which authorities found two bodies next to each other and the rest scattered over a 100-yard stretch. Hunter Bill Wagner, 72, of Oshkosh was two miles away when he heard the sirens and discovered roads in the area had been barricaded. “When you’re hunting, you don’t expect somebody to try to shoot you and murder you,” Wagner offered. Unless, of course, you’re a helpless animal out looking for some food.