The very week that saw the California Supreme Court void nearly 4,000 same-sex marriages sanctioned in San Francisco, New Jersey Governor James McGreevey resigned after admitting to engaging in a “consensual” homosexual affair. With his wife Dina at his side, McGreevey asked for forgiveness as he announced, “My truth is that I am a gay American and [that] shamefully, I indulged… with another man, which violated the bonds of matrimony.” But not, as evidenced by the ligatures on his arms and neck, the bonds of leather straps and a latex hood. What is truly shameful, however, is the fact that the Gov spoke out publicly against gay marriage while he internally “grappled with [his] own identity.” In other words, he wanted to be simultaneously gay and married, which, had it been lawful, would have solved the whole problem. If the Christian Right really wants to defend traditional matrimony, why don’t they get one of their congressional functionaries to introduce a bill banning heterosexual divorce?

In the end, no manner of political sophistry could have kept McGreevey in office anyways, what with the mounting corruption scandals involving real estate developers and members of the “refuse industry.” Oh, and that pesky sexual harassment lawsuit from former aide and Israeli national Golan Cipel. The whole sordid mess sent shock waves from Trenton all the way to Athens where Iranian world champion Arash Mir Esmaeili boycotted his judo match against an Israeli competitor. Said Iranian President Mohammad Khatami, “The great act of our self-sacrificing champion, who gave up the Olympic medal in protest of these cornholing infidels and in support of oppressed Palestinian goat-fuckers will be recorded among our national glories.”

Less than glorious was John Kerry’s response to President Bush’s loaded question on Iraqi authorization. “If you knew then what you know now,” Bush baited, “would you have still voted to invade Iraq?” A bumbled if qualified affirmative prodded Bush to gloat, “After months of questioning my motives, and even my credibility, Senator Kerry now agrees with me… I want to thank Senator Kerry for clearing that up.” As any practiced rhetorician would affirm, the proper response would have been to reply to the White House with yet another question. Namely: what exactly do we know now, what is the pebble of truth in your incessant stream of lies?

First we invaded Iraq because of a substantial link to Al Qaeda and the attacks on 9/11. Once that premise was deemed “not credible,” the administration shifted to the specter of WMD citing uranium purchased from Niger. Only after these allegations were exposed as complete fabrications, was the animus molded into the necessary removal of Saddam Hussein.

Hussein, it was proffered, was an evil despot who for 24 years held office by way of rigged elections and intimidation. He killed thousands of innocent Iraqis and detained countless others without the benefit of due process. Scores more were horribly tortured at grim facilities like the infamous Abu Ghraib prison. And he siphoned millions of dollars from the U.N.’s Oil for Food program. 27 criminal investigations against the Coalition Provisional Authority for fraud involving $600 million of Iraqi oil money means that Bush has achieved all these things, but in a much more timely fashion. All that’s left is to invade Kuwait and plunge our nation into a decade-long war with Iran.

This week’s plans for redeploying our troops stationed in Europe and Asia add credence to a run at Tehran. The administration is already ramping up the propaganda, suggesting that eight of the 9/11 Saudi hijackers left Afghanistan via Iran without having their passports stamped. As for the threat of WMD, Secretary of State Colin Powell said recently, “It is our judgment that Iran is developing a nuclear weapon.” National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice followed with a declaration that the U.S. and its allies “cannot allow the Iranians to develop a nuclear weapon,” crowing that President Bush will “look at all the tools that are available to him” to stop them.

If you think yet another war is a stretch even for Cheney and his band of thugs consider the following: Halliburton is already in trouble with a grand jury for contracts in Iran which are prohibited by U.S. sanctions. I guess the company just couldn’t stay away given Iran’s recent discovery of one of the world’s biggest undeveloped oil fields with estimated reserves of 38 billion barrels. Looks like McGreevey isn’t the only one bent on illicit drilling.