With apologies to Marshall McLuhan, it’s my impression that we live in an era where we are no longer defined predominantly by our actions, but equally by the aural and optic stimuli that wash over us daily. Thus it came one week too late for Dan Leach that “Dawn of the Dead” buried “The Passion of the Christ” at the box office. Perhaps the Satanic overtones in the zombie flick would have allowed the Texas man to live remorselessly with the murder of one Ashley Nicole Wilson. As the coroner ruled the death a suicide, Leach was in the clear, until, that is, images of Jesus dangling from the cross proved too stark a reminder of Ashley hanging smartly from a noose. His conscience arisen, Leach watched the final credits, finished his bucket of popcorn and summarily turned himself in to authorities.

In only twenty short years, USA Today has gone from abject ridicule to veneration worthy of The New York Times. While the Pulitzer tally remains a bit lopsided, the color-print-and-pie-chart upstart enjoys a prominence once reserved exclusively for the nation’s paper of record. USA Today achieved their newfound status when their star correspondent was caught plagiarizing and, more alluringly, fabricating stories outright. Jack Kelley, unlike his counterpart Jayson Blair, has yet to take down any editors, although his bogus stories about drowned Cuban refugees and false claims that he witnessed a suicide bomb send severed heads rolling down a Jerusalem street mean it’s far too early for a final body count.

To insiders, these events have a serious half-life and the fallout is still drifting down on the newsroom. John Seigenthaler, who chaired USA Today’s own investigation, lamented that, “In our view, it was a sad and shameful betrayal of the public trust.” NYU journalism professor Jay Rosen added, “For the casual public, it’s one more piece of evidence against an institution they feel they can’t trust.” While the commentary is undeniably damning, I can’t tell if it refers to journalism as a whole or only to the White House.

Indeed, The President has been hard at work spinning hay into gold, yet the question remains whether voters will be mesmerized by his imaginary vestments. After carting a plastic turkey around a Baghdad mess hall, Mr. Bush has yet to conjure up any weapons of mass destruction. In his first cluster of political ads, W. digitally inserted himself into ground zero and used actors to portray New York firefighters. Survivors, rescue workers and families of those killed are outraged by Bush’s hijacking of the events on 9/11 especially given his obstruction of the commission investigating the tragedy. His second wave of commercials, cleverly disguised as news footage, hails the new Medicare package and features an actress purporting to be a journalist. Critics are divided over the most egregious elements; some are disturbed by the voiceover, “In Washington, I’m Karen Ryan reporting,” while others take issue that $22 million price tag was picked up by the Department of Health and Human services and not Bush-Cheney ’04.

In a case of life imitating art, the Medicare drug bill narrowly passed a midnight vote in Congress, largely based on the $400 billion cost estimate asserted by the administration. Shortly after the bill was signed into law, Medicare’s chief actuary disclosed his year-old cost estimate of $551 billion that the White House knowingly withheld from lawmakers. The actuary, Richard Foster, claims the administration threatened to fire him if he shared his figures with members of Congress prior to the vote. But no matter, with the added financial burden of prescription drug benefits, the Medicare hospital trust fund is projected to be insolvent by 2019. In other words, if you’re going to get sick, better to do it now.

That the government has entered the business of dispensing pills comes as welcome news for many Americans, though most professional athletes see it as merely superfluous. BALCO labs was handing out steroids like candy and after 5 percent of players anonymously tested positive last year, major league baseball finally implemented mandatory random testing. Jason Giambi, who got his junk through a personal trainer, took heed and showed up to spring training 22 pounds lighter. In contrast, Barry Bonds, whose head remains the size of a large pumpkin, continues to defiantly mash home runs with a toothpick despite being named in a federal probe. It’s getting so ugly that the government banned the steroid precursor androstenedione that helped Mark McGwire slug 70 homers in 1998. While Peter Rose may have betted on baseball, these guys cheated, which in my book is a far more serious offence. Even long-suffering crack addict and oft-imprisoned Darryl Strawberry has seen enough. Last week the Straw resigned his position as a Yankees coach, stating, “My focus and passion now are outreach to the community and youth evangelism.” Makes you want to buy your kid a clarinet.