Down in Birmingham, church and state have been formally separated.. The Ten Commandments no longer preside over the Alabama state courthouse and neither does Chief Justice Roy Moore, for that matter. Moore was suspended after claiming he was exempt from the mandate of the U.S. Supreme Court because he answered only to God. This attitude, according to the state Judicial Inquiry Commission, is dangerous. It certainly didn’t help Terrence Cottrell, an eight-year-old Milwaukee boy who suffocated during an exorcism. The child had been wrapped in sheets while Pastor Ray Hemphill sat on his chest and shouted at demons. Now facing felony charges, the minister offered that although Terrence had died, the evil spirits causing his autism were successfully driven out.

Aside from the Taliban, who else on our planet is convinced they are following orders from Heaven? Are pedophilic priests listening to God while they molest young boys? Church doctrine holds that only clergy can call upstairs. Given last week’s brutal prison murder of John Geoghan, I’ll bet the four remaining collared sex-offenders in the Massachusetts correctional system have the speed dial to the Holy Father on overdrive. One last chat before they’re stomped to death.

The Angel of Death has Federal agents familiar with last year’s D.C. sniper attacks on the road in an effort to solve a new case. Over the course of several days, three West Virginians were gunned down outside convenience stores. Ballistic tests confirm all three were felled by the same .22 caliber rifle. Authorities are fielding hundreds of calls and sorting through numerous tips. Detectives recently abandoned the theory that the killings were drug related, and are now following up on leads involving microwave burritos and Big Gulp sodas. A composite sketch issued by police depicts the assailant as a heavyset Caucasian with a mullet and facial hair driving a full-sized pickup. With this information in hand, investigators are narrowing their search and focusing their resources. According to Kanawha County Sheriff Dave Tucker, at least 37 people throughout the state fail to match this description.

The EPA is doing its level best to choke out those of us who manage to dodge the spectral scythe. The agency just reversed a 25-year ban on the sale of PCB-contaminated properties. Polychlorinated biphenyls are known carcinogens and environmental groups are worried that the problem will be hidden under new development before it’s cleaned up. Not quite satisfied with its handiwork, the Feds also gutted the Clean Air Act, allowing industrial facilities to make repairs and upgrades without installing pollution control equipment. Fortunately, EPA didn’t need any scientific data to determine if relaxed emission standards would adversely affect our health. The decision was made by Dick Cheney’s White House Energy Task Force, which, according to the Government Accounting Office, “met with, solicited information from, or received information and advice from nonfederal energy stakeholders, principally petroleum, coal, nuclear, natural gas, and electricity industry representatives and lobbyists.”

To her credit, Christine Todd Whitman abdicated her throne at the EPA before these latest debacles, but she didn’t get out unscathed. During her reign, Whitman asserted the air around Ground Zero was safe before conclusive testing. Rescue workers who continue to suffer health problems blame the EPA for not warning them of the dangers. “We didn’t want to scare people,” Whitman quipped. To make sure, her proclamations were screened by James Conaughton, a former asbestos industry flunky and heavily altered by the White House prior to public dissemination. Conflict of interest charges dogged Whitman as her husband had links with Travelers Insurance parent Citigroup. Her all clear signal saved the insurer millions in remediation costs. If only Whitman hadn’t been exonerated by the government, now that would be a breath of fresh air.