Dissention in the ranks? U.S. Army officers are calling Donald Rumsfield the new Robert McNamara and complain that the Iraqi war plan is feckless. Colin Powell’s doctrine of overwhelming force has been discarded for more minimalist version of war which relies on Iraqi civilians welcoming us with fresh coffee and a bagel. A colonel, frustrated by the lack of American ground forces, called the Defense Secretary “cheap.”

All this changed, however, when news broke that the Pentagon had in fact achieved its paramount objective – removal of the evil tyrant with shifty eyes and a bushy mustache. Yes, Geraldo Rivera has been kicked out of Iraq. NBC fired Peter Arnett after he told Iraqi TV that the war was not going as planned. The ex-CNN reporter will remain in Baghdad, according to his agent, where he will now anchor the Al Jazeera evening news.